FINE LINE

There is a fine line between guts and stupidity. Pick your battles folks, pick your battles. For those of us with a right foot that’s made of lead, please remember this:

I saw it on the news but my boy Steve-O saw it live, so I’ll tell you like he saw it. Better to trust an eye-witness, is it not?

I only work half the day Friday, every Friday. [Don’t ask why, just listen] Steve-O was headed home this past Friday and had just merged onto the highway when he heard a chorus of rapidly approaching sirens. Now, he’s practically half black and he definitely inherited the f*ck the police gene so his heart jumped to his mouth for an instant. One glance at the rearview assured him that he wasn’t the object of all this ‘unlove’ from FCPD. The boys-in-blue’s attention was focused on a different vehicle – a Lincoln Navigator. Apparently, this dude had been stopped by the boys in blue in a routine traffic stop.

Y’all know there’s no such thing as a ‘routine traffic stop,’ right? That’s lingo for ‘we’ve been watching his/her ass for some time and we have enough evidence to bring him/her in.’

This perp had some ‘snow,’ as Young Jeezy calls it, in the Navigator that was a little more than for personal use, so he panicked and fled. This is why I say the cops had planned the routine traffic stop – he only drove 15 miles on i95 and already had spike strips waiting for him. Now, for all y’all DC Metro area people, y’all know i95/495 is in a state of perpetual congestion. There is no way, lights glaring, siren screaming or not, that an FCPD cop who ‘happened’ to be in the neighborhood could ‘happen’ to have spikes in his car and deploy them in a matter of minutes… unless he was waiting for the eventuality.

In any case, according to Steve-O of course, this Navigator was roaring down i95, partly in the fast lane and partly in the left shoulder. They had already popped his tires coz he was riding on bare rims and there were sparks everywhere, visible even in broad daylight. On his ass were 5 or 6 FCPDs hot on his tail, close but respectful enough to give him the space of a few car-lengths; probably to lessen the possibility of a potentially disastrous high-speed pile-up.

As if that wasn’t enough, there was an FCPD chopper hovering over the melee, low enough to startle but high enough to clear the treetops & lampposts.

See anything wrong with this picture? Yeah? I’ll tell you anyway.

How’re you gonna run from 5 or 6 cops while in an SUV with busted tires?! Not to mention the chopper hovering overhead?! C'mon man! For one, a Nav with good tires on it tops out at about 110MPH, and by then it’s damn near uncontrollable. The average police cruiser can do 135MPH with ease. It was just a matter of time before the Nav died out and his ass got arrested, knowwhati’msayin’? Just pull over instead of racking up more charges like reckless endangerment or resisting arrest, damnit!

Shoot, the only time I’d ever contemplate running away from FCPD is if I were in my Nissan 350Z without a rev limiter or speed governor and rolling on runflats. *Dream* Them cruisers are fast as $hit tho, believe you me. I've been caught doing 100 and that doggone cruiser caught up like I was parked in the middle of the highway! Unless you’re in a car that can do 150MPH+ and are at least semi-pro, please pull over. It’s not worth it.

Needless to say, homeboy crashed and was arrested a few miles up the road.